


there's nothing left to run from

by majorshipper



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Drama, F/F, F/M, POV Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-15
Updated: 2011-05-15
Packaged: 2017-10-19 10:07:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/199687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/majorshipper/pseuds/majorshipper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>She didn't quit, she didn't give up, and she didn't run away.</i></p><p>For the prompt, Morgana/everyone- “Sometimes people run away, just to see if anyone cares enough to follow.” Spoilers for S3.</p>
            </blockquote>





	there's nothing left to run from

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [Morgana Ficathon](http://ishi-chan.livejournal.com/45263.html). [xxx_angelin_xxx](http://xxx-angelin-xxx.livejournal.com/); Morgana/everyone- “Sometimes people run away, just to see if anyone cares enough to follow.”

"M'lady?"

Morgana could hear her new maidservant calling from across the field, her petite form visible just barely from where Morgana was currently trying to scramble down the tree. Her bare feet hit the dirt moments before Gwen pushed aside the large branch blocking the path and stepped into Morgana's small 'hideout'.

Her brown eyes widened in surprise as she took in the partially-covered bow and quiver, targets, the bag with boy's breeches spilling out, and the tall tree with various bits of clothing hanging from it.

Gwen huffed, blowing a wayward curl away from her face. Morgana winced, well aware of the fact that she'd just shown a girl she'd only know a few days her biggest secret. She had a feeling, though, that that kinda thing was just why she was who she was. Gwen- Morgana had insisted that if she was to work for her, they had to use each other's given names - turned slowly, taking it all in with a craned neck, flowers collected in her hands forgotten in wonder.

"What do you think?" Morgana asked tentatively. Gwen stopped and considered for a moment.

"I-I think it's nice," she answered in a small voice.

That was enough for Morgana, who grabbed her wrist with an enthusiasm Uther had always said she got from her father and drug her towards the perfectly-sized swords leaning against the tree. Adventure glinted in her eyes as she carefully handed one to her maid.

"Gwen," she announced as the other girl gamely (though a bit clumsily) held the sword, "I think me and you are going to be best friends. For forever."

And then Gwen grinned, a bright smile lighting up her face and contagiously skipping across to Morgana.

Not to much later, laughter echoed through their small haven.

 

***

 

It was...strange. Morgana had always known it would be like this. They'd been raised as siblings, but everyone knew they _weren't_ ; the whole court had been murmuring about weddings and oh my, what a suitable match since before she had been old enough to understand the whispers.

But still, it felt wrong, and she couldn't tell if it was because she was sitting here, kissing her almost-brother in a small alcove while the rest of the palace feasted loudly in the hall, or if it was the twinkling of something else, something not brought on by the wine she'd sneakily downed before traipsing off with Arthur. Either way, Morgana Le Fay was no coward. A little twinge wouldn't scare her away. She could feel them stalling, pulling apart. They separated clumsily, and it took her a split-second to slow her reaction to avoid slamming her head into the stone wall behind her.

Arthur's face was flushed (she _knew_ he'd had more than his fair share of their stolen whine) and he stared at her like he didn't know what to do next.

Morgana stared right back, her face a mask of superiority and knowledge, steel in her will and anything but cowardliness in her stance. Arthur's gaze flickered from her eyes to her lips and then back again, before huffing out a breath.

Something inside her slipped, that twinge of wrongness pounced before she crushed it with her determination. She smirked at Arthur and tried not to think of what it all meant.

 

***

 

Morgana knew her will took her sister by surprise. In fact, it took her by surprise sometimes. She was still recovering from the impossible ( _death and pain and betrayal and oh gods, don't think of it_ ) and she was dented, different, but somehow it didn't stop her from pushing on. She wasn't even able to get out of her sister's bed, and already she had demanded to begin learning about her magic.

Morgause thought it was stubbornness and a need to distract herself, but it wasn't just that. She needed to know. She needed the power, she needed the revenge. She needed to know how kill a man (a man with dark hair and eyes that sparkled in a body too tall and thin for his soul) with nothing but her will and the gnawing hate ripping at her insides and the magic flowing through her blood like a gift.

She loved her sister like no other living person, but it wasn't just stubbornness. It was her innate unwillingness to give in. She didn't quit, she didn't give up, and she didn't run away.

 _Uther had always said she got that from her father. It made her wonder why she didn't see it in Morgause._

 

***

 

"Morgana."

She didn't turn. He was here because of her, and while neither carried a weapon, both knew she was the one in control.

It gave her an odd thrill, the power and anger and pounding need to _hurt him_ drumming through her veins, overwhelming her senses.

"Morgana, please."

She turned, slowly. He was as small and world-weary as he had been down in the catacombs, when she'd let feelings and emotions other than rage seep through her facade. Merlin's face was smudged with something that her mind knew was his blood, and it made her grin wickedly.

"Merlin."

His body was sobbing, but she knew the glistening in his eyes was hard and frozen, just like her. They each had their side. He’d picked Arthur, and she, she'd picked anything but Merlin. And victory was hers, as close as a raised hand. She considered killing him here, now. Reaching out and caressing his cheek one last time before letting her eyes glow fire to burn him alive.

The idea was discarded after almost no time. It would be better, to have Arthur and Merlin together, to make the poor boy watch as she killed his mighty leader.

But she did step forward, didn't miss how he flinched away from her touch as she gently ran a hand down the side of his face. A witch's smile gut-punched him and she pressed her cool lips against his, hand tangled in his hair to hold him firmly even if she didn't need it.

Her breath made him shiver as she trailed her tongue along his jaw and leaned forward, brushed cheeks with him and whispered in his ear.

"Goodbye, Merlin."

And then she turned and walked away, letting herself get lost in the darkness of the forest, the few lights of her castle twinkling ahead of her. She didn't run and she didn't cry and the speed of her walk was to avoid pursuit and the shimmer in her eyes was just ice.


End file.
